The End of an Era

I never know how to start these posts that happen after many months have passed since the last entry. Been a while, huh? What's up with you, guys? I hope things are good. They're good over here. I've been working a lot in my vintage shop and have had my first successes and first downfalls. I've worked so hard I was really happy with my results and growth but I've also exhausted myself along the way and never noticed. When I finally forced myself to rest, it turned out I needed more time off than I'd planned for and being a one-woman show, it hit my growth and turned me back to where I was a couple of months prior. I am currently trying to get back to where I've been financially and reach-wise before I slipped but I know full well I won't get there for many months to come and, all things considered, I decided to be okay with that. That's because I have even bigger things planned...

So the bigger plans? Next Monday I'm going to have my jaw surgery. You know I've been wearing braces for my underbite --that has been in preparation for the surgery to fix it. It's been over two years since the process had been started and I'm pretty excited to be so close to the finish line now. I'm pretty clueless as to what I'll look like afterwards --and this surgery changes the way the face looks --and this is literally the only thing that scares me: the not knowing. That, and the fact that I will only know after a couple of months have passed and my swelling goes down. But well. This weirdness just points out to me where I need to let go. I'm not going to let this anxiety take over the whole experience for me. I'm going to be fine, no matter the outcome.

I feel like this marks some kind of a chapter in my life that will be closed with getting the surgery and with taking my braces off a couple of months later (let's hope!). I'm not sure what it's about. There have been several closed chapters in my life as of this last year. I've been doing a lot of growing in the weirdest of ways: sometimes going forward only to take ten steps back, then going sideways then at a cant. It's a tangled and twisted path but it's been good, all the steps on it. I feel I'm finally really looking and listening and learning and drawing my conclusions and really going forward, even when I'm looking into the past. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm more aware and thanks to that, am able to be more detached. In the best of possible ways. At least for the time being.

See you soon-ish, I guess!

Photo credits go to my Mum. Thanks, Mum!

1970s dress soon available in Apple Thief.

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1 comment

  1. Good luck with the op. And hello to New You. And your Mum IS good!

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