Outfit: On breaking habits

Is being a creature of habit a human condition? I guess some suffer from it more than others --and I mean some can't stand routines and habits while others go with it with ease. I'm somewhere in between. I like my cozy, safe habits but after a while, I often feel like I'm being suffocated by a huge, soft pillow. Imagine being submerged in a pillow like that. How do you stand up? I haven't figured it out yet.

When it comes to style, I've been craving change. And I've been actively seeking it, too. Check out my hair this year, as an example. I've never in my whole life done as many things to my hair as I did during this year. First, I cut it short in winter, then went even shorter in spring, then colored it whatever I wanted during the summer, and lastly, I gave myself a buzzcut a few days ago. And honestly? All that didn't feel like a lot of change at all. I am so used to myself as a body and person, that no matter what I do with my hair, I still feel like me. And at the same time, while I feel like myself in my body, I don't feel like myself in my clothes. Maybe I can do whatever changes I want to my body, but if I don't change my style, I'm still stuck in that huge, warm, soft constrictor of a pillow. Without style change, I'm last-year-me, two-years-ago-me. The outside weirdly doesn't match the inside.

skirt I made from self drafted pattern, old cardigan (similar), blouse (sold out), flats

I feel like I need to rewire my mind. I keep being drawn to busy prints and bright colors because I'm used to them being the category I've worn over and over again in the past. It's not easy for me to focus on more plain and simple pieces because I tend to automatically dismiss them as uninteresting. Even today's outfit --when I was planning it, it didn't occur to me that I have an abundance of detail: print on the blouse, cable knit on the cardigan and a button placket on the skirt. What if I got rid of all these details and only kept the color mix? Would that be enough, or would I feel that something is lacking? I will have to find out if I can do the detail-less thing in the future...

I'm wearing a skirt I made from self drafted pattern, old cardigan (similar), blouse (sold out), flats.

Photos by my boyfriend.


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