Outfit: Fashion is a playground

It might just be the recap season because of the new year but... This last year? Hard. There were many difficulties in my personal life that I don't want to talk about but there was also one piece of the overwhelming puzzle that I was curious to uncover and I want to share that one with you because it's directly related to this blog.

I don't know how and exactly when it happened but along the last year I kept losing myself to the extent where I really couldn't recognize me anymore. And that translated to my blog and my style. You see, a couple of years ago, when I tried on my first dress in a decade, I discovered that fashion is my way of being me. My style was my refuge. My clothes were my armour and I let no one judge me. I was deciding who I would picture with my clothes any given day: I dictated who I was and I wasn't afraid to show that person the world.

But last year? I suddenly found myself asking questions about my style. Was it good? Was it appropriate? What were people thinking when they saw me in the street, wearing all the patterns and all the colours and all the dresses and skirts? Did they like it? For some reason I let others decide if I was worthwile. And with all this questioning, I was desperately looking for help outside: I kept asking friends for opinions and to my own surprise, I even talked to a stylist to get a professional advice... in a field where I'm so proficient. I felt trapped between my own indecisiveness and the judgments that I imagined others would pass upon me. Fashion wasn't a refuge anymore.

But in all this inner turmoil, it proved to be an anchor. I did, after all, go after my dream of designing clothes and starting my own clothing/bespoke brand. While my creativity was massively blocked most of the time because of all the questioning, I was able to design a few pieces that I liked. I also worked with some lovely customers who were so very kind and amazed me with their thankfulness and those encounters were by far the most encouraging ones of the whole year. This creative side of my interest in fashion is something I need --and am exticed to! --explore further.

If I can't immediatelly have back that feeling of being at ease and protected in my clothes (some damage takes time to repair), in those few short days of 2017 I have understood that fashion is my playground. And I intend to be seriously extatic about it this coming year. Coming with me?

I'm wearing skirt c/o Shein, thrifted sweater and blouse, old coat, Clarks mary janes (similar cute style) pin from Portugal (more mountain pins).

Photos by my boyfriend.

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3 comments

  1. Śliczna sesja :) pozdrawiam serdecznie :) woman-with-class.blogspot.com

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  2. I can definitely relate to this. For a long, long time, I haven't felt "right" in my clothes. I had a lot of the same questions you had--did other people like it? Did I look "right"? It led me down a fashion rabbit hole. It's only in the last few months that I've begun to really figure out a) what looks good on me and b) what I actually like to wear (not what I THINK I SHOULD wear). And I've also realized that good style is a matter of time--time to figure out both A and B.

    For what it's worth, I've always greatly admired your style. To me, you look very confident in your clothes. I hope that this year you can return to that sense of comfort in what you wear.

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