Expressions


When you make one change, others can follow along like an avalanche. So I did something that I'd been thinking about for years and suddenly a lot of things occur to me and some things happen that I consider good. One of them being my obvious trousers revelation (why did I take so long to understand? Rolling my eyes here), the other --cutting my hair (wait for my next post to see the extent to which that happened). But something more important occured to me about my self expression. I guess I've been toning myself down a lot, not just on the blog but in real life as well. Here, I've been trying to always appear pretty more than anything else. Vain, I know but who could blame me? A blog is a blog. No one wants to read a blog of an ugly girl.

Thing is, though, pretty is not my main mode of expression and I've suddenly found it very confining and lacking. I'd call my main mode ingénue. Yeah, I'm 31, so what. Ingénue doesn't mean infantile. So I'm clumsy, goofy, naive and warm hearted. I still am an adult: I work and earn money, I do laundry and clean my flat even though it's against all that I stand for, I have sex, I get drunk, I sometimes eat ice cream for breakfast and I occasionally admit to having been wrong. I also make the funniest faces and laugh my head off at my own silly jokes. Big deal, that adulthood.

It's not that I've been insencere with you all. On the contrary. I was very sincere in my naive thinking that I needed to be this or that in order to get this blog to work. And there's definitely nothing wrong with believing that. It just doesn't work for me anymore.

Bottom line is, I want to be more open here now. More open with my writing and more expressive in my photos. You're going to find more bloopers kinds of shots around here, in regular posts. I also hope I won't hold back from communicating my opinions anymore. I honestly don't need to weigh every word and chisel each sentence to perfection (which I'm never going to attain anyway so why bother). So here's to that. Keep your fingers crossed for me so that I don't go back to my old restrictive ways. They were not healthy.

I'm wearing my late Grandpa's sweater made by my Granny, a cap also made by her, a thrifted jacket, old jeans and boots.
Photos by my boyfriend.


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11 comments

  1. HELL YEAH!!! (i don't know if people say that in Poland, haha). This has me so excited. Thank you for being a good example in this -- inspiring and something I need to work on as well.

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  2. YES! I love the changes you've been making lately and it really makes me happy to see you coming into your own more and more.

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  3. DEAR, THIS IS REALLY AWESOME LOOK!
    xoxo

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  4. 3 zdjęcie od końca po lewej stronie! Miażdży :D
    super wyglądasz :*

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  5. Your photos are always so beautiful! What camera/lens does your boyfriend use?

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    1. Hi! We use Canon 6D with a wide variety of lenses. Our favorite being a EF 85mm 1:1.8 and an old Russian Helios 44M (58mm).

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  6. Yay! That all makes me happy <3 also, loving this outfit!

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  7. Oh yay! That sounds supercool and exciting.

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  8. Jak mawiała moja babcia, nawet kiedy jesteś dorosła, powinnaś też czuć się dzieckiem ;) Bo bez odrobiny dziecka mimo młodej metryki człowiek robi się zgrzybiały i marudny. Bez sensu ;)
    Piękne te zdjęcia, piękne kolory i zaczarowane miejsca.
    Pozdrawiam ;) Kaja

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  9. I love these photos- the trees are a such a pretty background. I like seeing "real" photos of people, not just a pretty face, but a bit of their personality too- so I enjoy the blooper photos you shared. Can't wait for what you share next!
    The Artyologist

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